thx...i'll be in the bathroom shaving my ass!

Perfect for vintage porn!

You had those in the 70's too. Fun times :)

He must've missed the army!

I want to come on your face darling.....you know, it'll feel JUST like a hologram!

Thi is the best view of Venus i've ever seen!

Mmmm... Care to join me anyway!!!?

Oh, i remember, i changed my avatar.....

Wait, hold on.....

Perhaps next year......

Ok, don't rub it in fk(ingcunt)bisme!! ;)

Care to join me!?

'uplad' how apt!

Not a bad little moovie!

I'll just see how much i can afford on my plastic!

Think-tank problem!!

.....as saggy as the fnuggie.

That cat's got groove!

That's just a bridge too far!

*breaks into hot sweat* ;) ;) ;)

Yeahh.. That's right, my cunt. (;

From Tatt to Twat!

....because it would play havoc on your cunt!

I'd like to see it cope on an icy pavement, holding the shopping!

I don't think i have the balls that match to ride that thing.

If you look closely, you'll see several pictures of Jesus with a goatie!!

Q. What do you get if you throw a piano down a mine shaft?

A. A flat minor!

TaDaa!!

I will always worry now when i see a bookcase, where the thickness of the shelves are more than the space between where items are placed!

"You seem well read but........."

I use a pen.....cil.

Thank you fg :)

You should tell your girlfriend about this night problem of hers.

Lorries?

They should make lorries out of the materials used in making that bridge. In fact, they should make EVERYTHING out of the same material. Except for penises, they should be just a bit bendy, always

His pumpkin carving skill are completely shite!

*holds neck, cups balls, closes eyes* Not specifically in that order...

I wonder if her bark is bigger!?

He wanted a day, just one day on the beach, some chillout time, perhaps a beer, create a little sandcastle and they kept on dragging him back in. I mean, there was space enough to share. Shame on those people!

Now here's a line to remember.

My penis would look small in those large hands :(

I woder if there were any takers for his old face? I mean, there are some awfully fugly people out there!

I had to say it out loud a couple times but I got it. That cheesy but I'll give you props lol

LMAO!!! It took me a minute but when I got it, I got it.

Very witty!

Idiot... "I hurt my back"

Doctor "I see?"

Idiot... "yes!"

I bet I could speak proper England than you used to could when i was a children!

Sugar Daddy refers to a rich, usually older man who offers money or gifts to a less rich, usually younger person in return for companionship or sexual favors. This differs from prostitution in that the older man is usually the sole financial provider to the younger person. A Sugar Mummy is just the opposite. Cats neg was appropriate, in this case. I could see where you were coming from tho. Sad, tragic circumstances. I'm sure if you could, you'd give these kids the love that they now need.....oooodles of it :)

You've shit your pants!?

Various objects from a builders merchants, some of them quite pointy. An 8'x4'x15ml sheet of ply. A new hammer too, how fortunate!

Sausage Fingers Cat? No idea, what do they have in common?

The one in the nuts was for me. Less competition! ;)

"Stuck in a rut mate!?"

"Guys, i'm trying to sleep!"

*mascot.

And don't forget dead hookers and some shovels.

I'd put a pair of tights over that thing and send it into a bank. Screaming, from my couch...."THIS IS A STICK UP"....in a Police Academy kind of way.

.....and a place for your fries and your chicken Mc shiznets.

Cunt!

Yr X might not appreciate that!

You could hold a pencil!?

Sammich!?

dont it get cold in the arctic?, suit should have a better way to pee

What a hoot!

Now, if that were a catfish!

Male drop!

Nasty!!

A cunning stunt.

John Holmes.

"Can't ANY of you enter next years hand puppet talent contest!?"

I heard her repeat what she heard the kid say.

"Did you hear that?"

"What did he say?"

"Allahu Akbar"

I wish she had called him an Allah Wanker, but I didnt hear that.

Seriously.... "Stiffie" "come"?????

Lol. Fire Chief Stiffie said, 'This was apretty tough rescue, it took us quite a while to come!!!

Hahahahahahaha... Hilarious. The girl with the camera thought he said "Allah Wanker"!!. A truely fitting error!

...or a hanging chain, that lightly brushes over his head.

"first U.K. based moron"? You have a chip on your shoulder, big boy?

Yeah but wasn't the taze bit fun!

I bet he will.

That music had a good beat.

"Hey buddy, you look shit faced"

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!

What a complete headfuck.

Does Google translate convert Dollars into Pounds? I need to know how much to send this lucky bastard!

Brazilian boy (flag at end ) KO him on 30 second mark :-)

I'd be a tad annoyed if i went to a fight that only lasted a minute or so. Impressive move however.

Only in your eyes fucktard! What a stupid comment. You're caught up in your little pc world. You think he REALLY meant he likes little (under age) girls? Where the hell does it say in his sentence "I'd like to fuck an under age little girl"?

Just tap your breaks right before the little flashy light goes off..

You mean you can drive through 'EZPass' THAT fast!!

Not a single cow!

Exactly what I was thinking!

I shall never look at BBC Breakfast News in the same way, ever again. Priceless.

V Informative. 4u

He couldn't give a flying fuck.

No, that condition's called Parrette's

Cats are cool too Ive had a few special ones that I have loved just as much as dogs, Hope yours gets better

My cat's sick at the mo so here's a big 'pet' hug to yr old friend.

From fabric to cars. You are an endless source of info Connie.

Hey Massageplus..every phone conversation she has is going to start with,

"...you know what this stupid motherfucker did?!..."

Too right. That story's going to go around and around and around and around.........

for once!! What do you think this place is!? Anyway, sociopaths turn me on!

Come on - it was a FERRARI!

Christ Sylvia, you really ARE a sociopath!

Classic. lol